The Art of Saying No in Multilingual Meetings
- Ann Desseyn
- Oct 7
- 2 min read
In theory, saying “no” should be simple. One syllable. Clear, efficient, done. In reality—especially in multilingual meetings—it’s one of the hardest words to use well.
The Harvard Negotiation Project calls this the moment of balancing assertion and relationship. A well-delivered “no” protects your interests without breaking trust. But in multilingual settings, the risk of misunderstanding multiplies. You’re not only negotiating ideas—you’re navigating tone, translation, and power.
Why “no” becomes dangerous
Across languages, “no” carries wildly different weights.
In English, it often signals independence.
In Japanese, it can sound confrontational.
In French or Spanish, it may need softening with reasoning or empathy.
The Harvard researchers observed that people often avoid saying no to preserve face or goodwill, but avoidance rarely prevents conflict—it only delays it. In multilingual contexts, the delay costs more: missed deadlines, blurred accountability, or public embarrassment when “yes” turns out to mean “no” after all.
Three hidden pressures
Linguistic limitation. Non-native speakers may struggle to calibrate politeness levels. What sounds neutral in one language may strike another as cold or abrupt.
Cultural framing. High-context cultures rely on hints and timing; low-context ones demand explicit boundaries. When these collide, one party reads firmness as hostility, the other reads diplomacy as weakness.
Status and hierarchy. In some settings, saying no to a senior or a client feels impossible. Silence or vague assent becomes a survival strategy.
Lessons from Harvard Negotiation principles
The Project’s work emphasises three moves that translate powerfully to multilingual spaces:
Separate people from the problem. You can decline an idea without rejecting a person. A simple reframing—“The proposal has merit, but the timing doesn’t fit”—preserves respect while drawing a line.
Focus on interests, not positions. Instead of blunt refusal, explore the “why” behind each view:“My concern is about delivery risk rather than the concept itself.” This transforms a flat “no” into a reasoned conversation.
Invent options for mutual gain. In multilingual meetings, offering an alternative helps everyone save face.“We can’t commit now, but what if we revisit this after phase one?”
The subtle craft of “no”
The art lies in rhythm and empathy. Before you speak, read the room’s cultural code: how do people disagree here? Then translate your “no” into that code—softened, delayed, or framed as a shared decision.
When done with awareness, refusal becomes a form of respect. It tells the group: I’m listening, and I care enough to be honest.
In the Harvard Negotiation Project’s language, that’s not conflict—it’s real dialogue. And in multilingual meetings, real dialogue is the rarest, and most valuable, word of all.
